Who are you mirroring when you lead?

Any parent can tell you that we are born mimics. It's how we learn, I acknowledge not the only way, but a very primal very inate method. So when attending a UN Women's breakfast entitled "Driving Gender Diversity in the Workplace" and listening to Julie McKay Executive Director of UN Women Australia I was struck. Julie commented that female leaders are told "don't act like a man you're too masculine, but don't act like a woman either because then you be perceived as weak".

I have personally experienced and continue to experience this dichotomy in my leadership journey. And I am far from alone. You only have to look to the media and their commentary on female politicians hair, shoes or clothing to see the effects of this in action. 

As to my personal experience. In my first professional leadership position as a front line manager I began as the only female manager in the factory, with approx 15 peers and over 500 staff of whom less than a handful were female. It was a unionised workforce with many of the old school union behaviours, aggression, swearing, heavy drinking, and a general dislike of any kind of authority still prevalent in day to day interactions. 

The dominant leadership style at the time was one of aggression and demonstrations of power. 

As my career progressed and because of my personality (I love a robust argument) I was perceived as too masculine and aggressive. It took me to completely remove myself from that environment to understand how I was missing any alternatives in the behaviour around me. There was no diversity in the styles I was observing. 

I am a stronger more confident leader as a result of those experiences and my style continues to evolve. We a built to mimic to fit in, for safety, it is a hard thing to teach how to reject the behaviour being demonstrated in your immediate sphere. This is exacerbated when those exhibiting it have stopped accepting their own style and see it as an afront when reflected in you.

I hope that by sharing my experience young female leaders can be encouraged early and often to expose tthemselves to a variety of styles in a variety of settings. Collect, treasure, analyse both what you are observing and your own reflection of see behaviours.

UN Women whitepaper 'Re thinking Merit'